Wednesday, June 25, 2008

We got a message from The Area Fat Teady Leader


I was under the impression that Magic Man Mike Mimms was the leader of T-Pains nefarious fat teddy bear liberation committee however I stand corrected this message was recieved from Matt Bfloperello Spencer with regard to the situation. Some serious stuff going on.
Read Matt's Letter
20 Shots, this is M. Spencer aka Bellyflop, and I want to tell you the truth about the Fat Teddy Bear Brigade (FTBB). Yes, I was originally a part of this underground revolutionary group, but as of May 11th, 2008, all that changed. T-Pain had put me in charge of the San Gabriel Valley FTBB, and I was given orders to take over the Denny's on Colorado. As planned I arrived at 1am, and worked my way through a crowd of drunken teenagers, and high but polite gang members. None of the other fat men had arrived, and I realized I was being set up to take a fall. You see, a week earlier I had gotten into a fight with FTBB leadership. Beneath the jolly and hearty exterior, they are actually fat supremacists, and although I do accept the fact that I am a supreme person, I could not be a part of oppressing people just because they aren't plump enough. They sent me a death threat hidden in a T-Pain, synthed out. vocoder voice soon after, then told me my last mission would be Denny's. Once I realized what was going on, I fled quickly, only to find about 15 fat bastards at awaiting me at my car. Now, keep in mind..there are 2 types of fat men. Those who are adorable like me, and those who are atrocious and self loathing, like the goons at my car. Luckily, in 7th grade I had gym with Mr. Lyn at Eliot, who we are all sure is a homo. Why is that lucky? It taught me to run fast and not get caught slippin'. So, I escaped with my life, and now I am sure they want me dead. 20 Shots, this is an appeal to you and your readers to look for the truth, and if I go missing, I want you to scour every fast food drive-thru and donut shop until you find who did this to me. The Fat Teddy Bear Brigade will not rest until they control the world. They are doing it with smiles and typical Santa like merryment, but rest assured, your children will not grow up free or skinny if this continues.
God Save America.

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